Though it had been almost ten years since they broke up, life seemed to have stopped and come to a grinding halt for him — despite “falling in love” a few more times. For Abhi, love began and ended with Juri.

Their break-up was not a fiery one but a mutual one. In fact, it came as a shock to those who knew them.

"What? But why? Shit!" — the three most common reactions! And sometimes “When” came in as a complimentary.

"Abhi, I’m returning home next month. Could we..."

"Make a transit halt here. I want to meet you, please!" Abhi almost shouted before Juri could finish.

"But..."

"Lie to your parents, please! I beg you, meet me once — for the one final time. Anyway, you’ll be leaving Assam soon; perhaps even the country, and if that happens, I’ll never be able to see you again. I have never asked you for anything — just this time, please...."

"But... Hmmm... Okay, done. I will meet you. In fact, I also want to meet you. It has been, umm... ten years!"

******************************************************

Abhi met Juri at a friend’s sister’s birthday party. The moment he saw her, he felt a connection. That night, after reaching home, he called his friend’s sister and asked her everything about Juri.

"Nita, I am moonstruck by her. Could you please fix a meeting with her? I don’t know how to approach a girl and I don’t know if it’s ethical or not to approach her through you."

"Chill! I’ll ask her. But she’s a bit of a reserved person, who... umm... well, better you dig it out yourself!"

Two days later, there they were, sitting on the verandah of Cotton College’s chemistry department — talking like old friends. Nita introduced them and left for her lectures. Juri and Abhi sat and spoke for hours and hours — four hours in total!

They met again the next day, and the day after, and on the fourth day, Abhi proposed to her. His approach was straight and without any filter.

"You need time, take your time. Take as much time as you like. I shall wait."

"But what if I take my entire lifetime? Can you wait for me an entire lifetime? Will you wait?"

"Well... ummm... please, do not take so long! I mean... ahh! Don’t make me wait for a lifetime! You never know how long I might live for!"

"Harey... come on! I was joking. All I meant is that I need some time. Umm... I like you, I really do, but... love is a big commitment and I’m not sure if I’m ready for the commitment yet!"

"Hmm... got ya! Tea?"

"Sure."

******************************************************

As the day of Juri’s return drew closer, Abhi’s palpitations became frequent and his heartbeats erratic. He was nervous and anxious.

No tactic to calm him down worked.

He was restless, and this restlessness affected his work.

"Eighteen more days to go. Finally, after eighteen days..." Abhi often told himself, thinking of the day he was going to meet her.

He had everything planned — from hotel room to the luxurious wine.

******************************************************

Patience is the key to success, and when it is about love, patience plays the most crucial role.

Abhi had been patient — very patient — and for more than seven months, he had waited for Juri’s reply.

"I need more time," is what she always told him.

For seven months, they had been together. They spoke for several hours every day. They met at least four days a week. He was literally naked in front of her — she knew each and everything about him: his strengths and weaknesses, his good and bad habits — she knew them all.

In fact, they knew each other inside out. Juri was like a coconut — strong from the outside but brittle and fragile inside.

It’s not that she didn’t love Abhi! She loved him well, but she was afraid to accept or express her love. And the reason for it was stupid and silly — a scamster lover’s betrayal!

She had met someone online and fallen in love, only to realise later that he was a scamster — a fraud who did not exist in real! The person existed, but the man and the name behind the person she loved were fake! And this revelation “broke and shattered her,” making it almost impossible for her to “fall in love again.”

"Tell me one thing — you never met him in real, right? It was just some plain texts? And... phew! But I’m real, I’m a real person with flesh and blood. You can touch me, you can feel me, but then why can’t you trust me? Why? It has been seven months and in all these seven months, have you felt nothing?" Abhi was drunk that night as his patience was slowly giving way.

In the last seven months he had hoped against hope, hoping she would understand his feelings and finally accept and express her love. But she was bound by an unseen and non-existent thread of fear. But that night, enough was enough.

"Abhi, are you drunk?"

"Yes, I am drunk. I drink sometimes, I told you."

"But why are you drunk?"

"You say you’re afraid to fall in love again. You say you like me and you don’t love anyone else, nor do you have feelings for anyone. Then what was it on the 17th?"

"17th? What was it on the 17th? What happened? Tell me."

"Why? Weren’t you singing a duet with that... that distant cousin of yours who was also at your place to attend the Kali Puja? Do you think no one noticed? You were sitting close and singing... What song was it? Ah yes, 'Bade Acche Lagte Hain' and... and that one... umm... 'Tumse Milke, Aisa Laga Tumse Milke'... Didn’t you express your love silently in everyone’s presence? I noticed it. My friends noticed it. And you... Fine, I am not perfect. At least reject me straight. It has been seven months. I am a man, not a god. I have a heart that is emotional and weak, and..." Finally, alcohol overpowered him and he started weeping like a child.

"Sshh! Ssshh! Abhi, Abhi, listen to me. Don’t cry. Sssh! Abhi." Juri’s every move to pacify him went in vain.

Being extremely short-tempered, it was quite unusual that she had not lost her cool yet! Well, the control was momentary.

"Abhi! Stop it, will you!" she yelled at the top of her voice.

"Are you nuts? Boys! Why are you creating a scene? And you are a total idiot. You know with whom I was singing that day? Well, his name is Pinku, our Pinku da — my brother, friend, philosopher — everything. It was his plan. Arghh!! Idiot! Listen, I love you. I love you. Pinku da wanted to test you and so we both planned that act. But... Arghh! Idiot. I did not want to confess it over the phone. But... idiot. Look at him... say something now. Do not be silent. Abhi, you there?"

Abhi fumbled for words. Abhi, fumbled for the right words. He tried hard to stand still, but alcohol was way too powerful. He was smiling — perhaps the brightest and warmest smile of his entire lifetime. Even Juri could feel the warmth of it.

Things were going fine between the two. Both were doing well in their studies when the most unfortunate day struck them like a meteorite. No one expected that something so bad could happen. No one expected Juri’s elder brother and his girlfriend to take the extreme step. No one knows what went wrong or why they ended their lives the way they did on the same day at the same time. Their deaths, however, shattered two families.

For Juri’s family, their son died because of the affair he was in. They had their own reservations about the relationship and had insisted several times that it end. However, Juri’s brother was adamant.

On the other hand, the girl’s family also had reservations and wanted the relationship to end. However, she was also adamant.

Now, no one knows whether it was because of this constant family pressure or something else that forced them to take the extreme step. Two lives ended, killing two families and a few more souls.

Her brother’s untimely death affected Juri’s father deeply, shattering him from within.

"Love creates, it never destroys. But if love is so destructive, then one should not fall in love. Promise me, Juri, you will never fall in love. Love is everything but love!" Juri’s father’s words pierced her heart, leaving an everlasting imprint.

"But... Uncle is not in his... I mean, he is broken, and so... we aren’t getting married anytime soon, are we? We can convince him when the time comes, can’t we? Please, please Juri, do not ask me to end this relationship! Please... See, we will sail through this as well. This phase shall pass too."

"I can’t! Abhi, I’m sorry. I know. I understand, you are correct. But... Papa... Papa is broken. What if he gets a heart attack again? I can’t be the reason. No, I can’t. Please, you have understood me for the last fifteen months and trust me, these fifteen months have been the most beautiful of my life. But... good things are never forever!"

******************************************************

Finally, it was that week in Abhi’s life for which he had been waiting for the last ten years. After their break-up, Abhi fell for two more girls, but it hardly lasted. After a few passion-filled afternoons, it was over. The emotional connection he shared with Juri was missing. So, after failing twice, he made a pact with his heart — never to fall in love again.

"Finally, we are meeting next week. Ahh! Can’t wait for it. Are you sure about it? I mean, the night-out plan? Are you sure? Do you really want it, or is it just to make me happy?"

"No, Abhi, I’m sure about it, and I want it too. I told you my family is looking for a prospective groom for me. Perhaps this time they’ll make me take the wedding vows. So, before I take that plunge, I want to take this plunge with you. I am sure. I am clear."

"Since you are doing an arranged marriage, why not with me? Why look far when I’m here? Can’t you tell uncle and aunty? Or... or what about Pinku da? He can help, can’t he?"

"Papa is adamant. Anyone will do but not Abhi. He considers you as his son and says that getting me married to you will spoil everything. The way you have looked after my parents and cared for them in my absence, despite living far away, has made you their pet. They can consider you everything but not a son-in-law. Weird, I know. A few months back, I even told mum about you. She listened to everything and told me never to speak about you again or think about you in a different way except as a friend. Weirder, I know!"

"But..."

"Sssh! Abhi, we are not doing anything immoral. When you had the opportunity ten years back, you did not take advantage. You have respected my womanhood. You have loved me without expecting anything in return. You still love me today, like you did ten years ago. And... deep down somewhere, I also feel the same. So... we are doing nothing wrong or immoral. Morality is a black and white canvas — we can paint it the way we want with the colours we choose. So, calm down and don’t overthink. I am coming."

Everything was going as per plans, but...

That thing called God is a bad engineer. He often creates things imperfect, and when someone dares to perfect them, he strikes his hammer to shatter them into crystal.

When two days were left for her to arrive, Juri called Abhi to bomb him with the unexpected in one breath...

"Abhi, I am about to reach home. I’m just thirty minutes away. I had to come today. Papa had a massive heart attack and he’s in the ICU. He has been calling my name even while unconscious. I... I had to come. I... had to break the promise I made to you. Abhi, I’m sorry."

"Hey, don’t be sorry please. He’s your dad and... and we were not going to meet for creating some Nobel-winning epic formula? Chill. Don’t be sorry. I understand. It’s okay. Go now. Call me once you reach the hospital. I’ll come too. I’ll reach by evening."

"Abhi... I wish I could have hugged you right now."

"Chill, man. Go. Now bye bye." As the line got disconnected, Abhi could feel a trail of warmth running down from his eyes to his cheeks.

He closed his eyes, took a deep sigh, and texted Juri:

"I am a man, I am not a god. It is way too difficult for me to take in so much in so little time. I am sorry, I will not be able to come. Not because I don’t want to, but because I can’t hurt myself anymore. Perhaps, it was God’s poorly manufactured plan that we met, and perhaps it was His wish that I am writing this text. Don’t be mad at me. I know at this critical moment I must control my emotions, but... I am just a man, and I am not a god. I am sorry. Hope we will meet again."

******************************************************

Juri’s father died a year later, after her wedding. She got married to her father’s elder brother’s best friend’s son. The wedding took place within four months after he suffered the massive attack. Abhi was also invited, but he did not go. In fact, he never visited her even after her father’s death.

Abhi also got married a year later, after Juri’s wedding. He loves his wife dearly and tries everything to keep their marriage healthy and happy.

Despite seeing her daily on social media now, Abhi no longer feels the way he did for her a few years ago. They have interacted over the phone and on social media a few times, but the exchanges have been mostly formal, with that old zing and zeal.

Perhaps, for Abhi, love has finally found a different destination — a different name.

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