We have always been told that in a democracy, asking questions is a sacred right — a bold, noble act that fuels accountability, transparency, and progress. Textbooks celebrate it. Thought leaders tweet about it. TED Talks weep for it.

But let us not be fooled.

In reality, asking the right question to the right person is a high-risk activity, best undertaken by those with untraceable bank accounts or a chronic aversion to peace and quiet. Here is what happens when you dare to exercise your democratic right with too much enthusiasm.

Your Question Will Enter The Bureaucratic Bermuda Triangle

You raise your hand and ask, “Why is the new hospital missing doctors?” Within moments, your query is lovingly forwarded to a government portal that requires three logins, a lost OTP, and your childhood pet’s blood group.

If you persist, you will find your question officially marked as “resolved” — based on a PDF that no one has ever seen, stored in a room marked “Authorised Personnel Only”.

Congratulations: your question has now attained nirvana.

You May Accidentally Become A Journalist

What starts as curiosity soon snowballs into notebooks, RTI filings, and secret conversations with people referred to as “sources close to the matter”.

You will begin using phrases like “independent verification” and “on background”. Strangers on the internet will call you an activist. Your relatives will ask if you have joined a cult that specialises in questioning authority.

Experts May Short-Circuit

When you ask something reasonable on live TV — like “Where did the funds actually go?” — you may cause a respected expert to enter a fugue state.

You will be met with jargon, historical deflection, or a mysterious signal cut. Many experts thrive on applause and softball questions — your logic is a personal attack.

Everyone Will Be Emotionally Wounded

Even your gentlest question — “Why is the road still broken?” — will result in someone, somewhere, claiming emotional trauma.

WhatsApp groups will light up with conspiracy theories involving colonialism, NASA, ISRO, and ancient scriptures.

Someone will write a 600-word Facebook post accusing you of hurting national pride. By tea-time, you are trending — for all the wrong reasons.

You Will Be Asked To Take Responsibility For Everything

Instead of an answer, you will be asked to “suggest a solution”. This is democratic code for: “We would prefer you go away now.”

If you persist, your name might be added to a committee that meets monthly and achieves nothing — a beautiful loop of engagement with zero risk of change.

You Will Set Off A Chain Reaction (Unforgivable)

Democracy is not a fan of momentum. Your neighbour sees you asking questions and thinks, Why not me? Soon, others are questioning garbage collection, school facilities, and the rising price of onions.

This chain of civic curiosity disrupts the peace and leads to a dangerous outcome: awareness. This is how revolutions begin. Best avoided.

The System Will Offer You A Lifetime Of Silence

Democracy, as it turns out, is extremely polite. It does not silence you — it just gently disconnects your mic.

Suddenly, your emails bounce, your appeals go unanswered, and your suggestions are “noted for future consideration”.

You are still allowed to speak, but now it is into a void so vast it echoes with your own disappointment.

Your Phone Might Develop A ‘Conscience’

Continue your questioning spree and you may receive an invitation for a “friendly chat” with someone who smiles too much and carries a government badge.

This is followed by a sudden burst of attention to your browsing history, financial transactions, and Instagram captions from 2014.

If you are lucky, you will just be trolled online. If unlucky, you will become a ‘controversial figure’ in a TV debate you are not invited to.

WhatsApp University Will Graduate A New Batch — Just for You

When you question policy, uncles with no verified information but infinite data packs will come for you.

You will receive scholarly forwards explaining how your question is actually anti-national, anti-economy, anti-culture, and pro-cabbage.

You cannot win — they have memes.

Think Before You Think

So, next time you feel that itch to ask the right question to the right person — scratch it with caution. Convert it into a vague Instagram quote.

Phrase it like a philosophical musing: “Is truth objective or just inconvenient?” That way, you sound enlightened, offend no one, and trigger zero surveillance.

After all, in the glorious theatre of democracy, everyone cheers for freedom of expression — until someone actually exercises it.

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