Am I a failure? I guess I am a failure as when I look at my friends from school and college, or when I see my professional colleagues, I find myself nowhere.
I was never a brilliant student and I always scored below average marks, but I had this belief in me that I would do something fruitful in life.
However, with time, I found out I was wrong and here I am now, I am still a zero and myself doing nothing fruitful.
Even though some close people boosts me up by saying some good words, deep down I know that they also know that I am a failure!
You must be wondering as to who am I? Well, I am nobody but just an ordinary guy who is trying to meet ends.
I am someone who has lived a life only in dreams and who is good at nothing. I am someone who once had self-confidence galore but later realised it was all fake and I was simply overconfident.
I am someone who has committed the 'Seven Deadly Sins' a million times and even as I am jotting down these words, I am on the verge of committing another sin.
I can't even buy a small gift for my parents as I have almost zero income and the money earn is insufficient even to pay my bills.
A boyfriend for me is a luxury and even though I know it, I have a boyfriend who loves me a lot and I am confused if I should be in this relationship or not.
I am an independent girl. I had high hopes and big dreams. I wanted to create a universe of my own. But I faltered and gradually drifted apart from the main path.
I have drifted so much that even after thinking to restart the journey, I am not able to do it at all.
I talk, I smile, I laugh and I do sex as well. But nothing excites me as deep inside I am lonely and alone. Some of the popular and dangerous lifestyle diseases have made my body their permanent residence. Every day I plan to fight them, but the plannings remain just as plans.
When I look myself on the mirror what I see is a woman in her later 90s and someone who has just crossed 30! Even my body tells and reminds me as to who I am!
Am I a failure, I asked myself before penning down these meaningless words and sending it out to my friend. The answer I got, yes you are a failure but you can turn it on its head even now.
"Don't ask, am I a failure, but instead say, you are a failure but you are going to die one," is what my innerself reminded me.
ALSO READ | Media And The Half-Baked News